Coaching / vulnerability

Me Too.

Image Nina9 Comments

 

The “me too” club. This is a club I wish had zero members.

So why are women posting on Facebook the words “me too?” Because we’ve all been prey to sexual harassment, sexual assault and worse. To the women who haven’t had these things happen, you’re lucky and an anomaly. I sincerely hope times are changing and you never find yourself confronted with a situation like this. Most women I know have experienced unwanted sexual advances, cat calls, touching, kissing, groping, staring, stalking, or rape. It’s not okay and it’s never been okay.

In the 1960s and 1970s, during the era of Peace & Love and Disco, it wasn’t okay. It wasn’t okay in the 1950s when advertising men worked on Madison Avenue. Before those times, it wasn’t okay. And now, 2017, it still is not okay to harass or manipulate or touch women, whether in a job interview or in a situation where a man is trying to get to know someone. Consent matters.

“Listen up, creeps of Hollywood. We know who you are . . . Women talk to each other. And we talk to journalists. And we talk to lawyers. It’s 2017. We don’t have to put up with this shit. We are coming for you.” — Samantha Bee, “Full Frontal”

Obviously, this is extended to other industries besides Hollywood/entertainment. It happens in fashion. Politics. Finance. Law. Medicine. Academia. Education. Restaurants. The military. Even Therapy! I was sexually harassed by my supervisor in the therapy world! How’s that for sick/ironic?

It happens at all levels of work, in all classes of society, in every race. Women are not safe from harassment. Women are not safe from assault, either.

So, now what?

Women will hopefully start feeling the power of other supportive factions. Those of us who have come out may be crucial influencers for helping others share their stories. We need to listen and offer support when someone tells us a “me too” story. We also have male allies who listen and believe us, as well as call out their friends or coworkers when they see this happening.

This is a short post, and another voice in the movement to come out against men like  Harvey Weinstein, Roger Ailes, Bill O’Reilly, Anthony Weiner, Bill Clinton, Brock Turner… We talk, we stand up, we won’t allow these people to do this anymore.

To learn more about coaching with me, please visit my coaching page. Here’s another post: I Never Thought It Was THAT BAD.

9 thoughts on “Me Too.”

  1. As a culture, we need to teach boys to respect women, so they don’t become men who rape. It’s simple. And yet for CENTURIES the Patriarchy has assaulted and disempowered women… because deep down, they’re scared of how awesome we really are. What a tragic mess we are all in (& I’m the parent of a 17yr old boy)

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    • From what I read on your blog, it sounds like you’re raising a great son. I think you’re right: we have to raise boys who don’t only rape, but who also don’t mansplain, grope, stalk or stare. We need young men who are empathic and kind.

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    • I think the actual definition of rape needs to be commonly known too. I didn’t learn it until I started moving in a feminist direction, and a friend of mine who’s a mainstream feminist taught it to me. I was LATE 30’S / EARLY 40’S! I don’t think most men realize that anything short of active consent is rape. Technically a “pity screw (keeping it clean)” is rape. If a man initiates it, and she just goes along with it, she’s being raped. I always believe that if she was actively fighting you back, then it was rape, but if there was no violence involved, it was somehow okay. I think the definition of rape is much broader than the average guy knows, and this needs to become common knowledge, IMO.

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      • I’ve read so many stories from other women and it’s jogged my memory of things that I saw or experienced as a kid and didn’t even remember. I hate that this is so commonplace. It’s really tough (impossible) to protect the children now, as well as my beloved friends. This is a major problem in our society. AS, you’re right about the definition of rape. I hope you’ll write about that. I’ll repost it.

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    • Indeed… I totally agree… it starts at home… I hate how it is trivialised and gets passed off as “nature and men are primal” pfft… If we teach our boys early on that women should be respected as their equal and not disrespected as objects a lot of this cold be thwarted.

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