So often people don’t know how to love each other. I’ve always wondered why we make love so complicated and difficult. All we really have to do is pay attention. But for those of us who don’t trust our intuition or know what to pay attention to, I’ve created a list based on MY experiences in love. But before you read on, I’d like to remind you that you have an amazing sense of intuition for yourself and your lovers. When you slow down and sense yourself, you start the process of trusting what you need and noticing what your partner needs. In a forthcoming post, I’ll go into much more detail about trusting intuition. For now, I leave you with this.
This is what I’ve learned from romantic relationships:
- I love love
- I love feeling special
- I want to love (you), so stop being aloof and let me in
- I’ll let you in.
I think people have trouble knowing how to love another person. Here are some rudimentary ways to love. Maybe your list will overlap, maybe it’s vastly different. Either way, it’s important to start thinking about your love languages and lean into the risk of love.
Here’s how to love me:
- Say what you mean.
- Mean what you say.
- Smile at me with your mouth, your eyes, your heart, your open hands.
- Write me a love letter.
- Leave me a small token or note in a surprise spot.
- Bring up our funny inside jokes.
- Hug and kiss me before bed.
- Greet me by opening the door and taking my bags because I’m usually carrying a million of them. Set them down and kiss me.
- Say good morning!
- Communicate. Tell me what’s on your mind.
- Ask me questions. Not just “how was your day?”
- Be curious. Wonder.
- Attend things with me. Better yet, invite me somewhere and tell me you’d love my company.
- Let’s put down our phones and look at each other. Remind me to stop working.
- Get me chocolate or guava. A small piece goes a long way.
- Make me something–a playlist, eggs, a card, a scavenger hunt. I’ll love anything that you’ve put effort and heart into.
- Squeeze my hand.
- Talk about your dreams and hopes and ask about mine. And do this every so often. Things change.
- Tell me I am kind or pretty or another superlative you genuinely believe.
- Receive my nurturing touch.
- Graciously accept compliments.
- Let me cook for you.
- Accept help from me.
- Be willing to put in effort. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
- I like giving you tons of love, but please don’t take it for granted or let it get to your head.
- If I’m sad, don’t try to reason me out of it. Just hold me, listen and soon I’ll be better on my own.
- If I need to bring something up, please be willing to listen and pay attention.
- When either of us gets into bed after the other, be inviting for a hug or please snuggle me.
- I’ll understand trust and the bond between us when you address problems or other difficulties with me, and when you speak from your heart and without sarcasm.