Why do I keep falling for this?
I was set-up on a blind date by a professional matchmaker who is hired by clients for a big fee and sets up her clients with paying members and non-paying people who she meets in her life. In my case, we must have met in a Facebook group, but I don’t remember how or when. She reached out and asked if I’d be interested in a set-up date. I was cautious but agreed.
My first mistake was that I’ve never met her in person. We had a brief conversation on text and then saw each other momentarily on FaceTime, which turned out to be the second mistake. She reached out to me because her male client is looking for love. I can’t blame him, we’re all looking for love. If she had known me better, I think she’d have realized we would not be a suitable match. With only limited information, she probably thought we could be a good fit.
The matchmaker seemed kind, which is precisely why I gave this date a chance. Was she thorough with me? No. Am I her paying client? Negative. Initially, she offered that he and I would go out for drinks on Sunday night at 9 pm. I thought about it but declined, stating that time is too late for me on a Sunday. (I’ve been around the dating world long enough to know that 9 pm on a Sunday means tickets to an awesome event or we’re going to have a drink (or 20) and go home together.) There were no tickets so I suggested a lunch instead.
I asked the matchmaker if my date and I could talk before the date and she replied: “sorry, it doesn’t work that way.” Okay, I’m open to new experiences, but I would have preferred a call with him. I asked her for some details about him. She said he was in his forties, young, active, and curious. I didn’t ask about his looks as I didn’t want to come across as shallow, but I was definitely curious.
I arrived at the restaurant early. He walked up a few minutes later and we both smiled and shook hands. As much as I try to stray from a “type,” I definitely have one. He wasn’t it. But I was trying…
He was nearing the end of his forties and told me about his big birthday dinner he was in the midst of planning. It sounded like he has many friends from college and other parts of life, and I respected the ways he seemed to keep in touch with them. On the other hand, we seemed to live very differently: he has been in the same high-rise apartment for almost two decades and avoids driving in traffic at all costs. I have moved too many times to count and go everywhere so I can be touched by new experiences both in my city and in foreign lands. Neither way is better, but I’m more attracted to adventurous people. He also didn’t seem very active, and that’s another polar opposite of me.
Our conversation was light and we stuck with music and movies. I noticed he didn’t ask many questions (a harbinger to determine if I will go out with someone again) and didn’t seem curious about me or new experiences. To top it off, he talked with his mouth full.
I had to put money in my meter and that turned into me moving my car, which I felt badly about, and I was gone for a few minutes. Despite my feeling like we weren’t a love match, I hated leaving the restaurant during our lunch.
We discussed the matchmaking service and he stated, “I’m a busy professional and I don’t have time to swipe” which sounded like a canned line! I have to give him credit, though. He’s doing something serious about being single and finding love. He revealed that he pays a lot of money for matchmaking and the matchmaker sets him up with a date a month. Her pool of people stems both from paying clients and from others she knows outside of the clientele. I did not ask how much he pays, as I thought that would be uncouth.
The location of the date was a trendy taco bar. The food was delicious and the music was really great. The matchmaker did an excellent job of selecting the restaurant!
When the date was over, I remembered why I don’t normally do complete, pitch-black, blind dates.
I get so annoyed when people scan their networks and randomly assign people to date because they’re both single.
It’s like, duck, duck, goose for dating. Oh, you’re single and you’re single? Then, obviously, you’re a match. NO! It doesn’t usually work. Set-ups work best when there’s thought that the two people will complement each other’s personalities, interests, and attraction.
So, why do I keep falling for this?
Because life is an adventure. And there’s enough hope and happiness from people who find love when they’re not expecting it that I always think, “why not?” In other words, you never know. But next time, I’ll make sure I have more details because I’d rather have spent the afternoon talking to you, my readers, than spend time with someone who didn’t know to be intrigued or curious.
And next time… I’ll ask more questions first.
You might also like these posts: John Steinbeck’s Love Advice, What is Romance?, G-Spots and Women’s Pleasure. I’m a Life Coach and work in SoCal and remotely. Please contact me if you have questions.