The New Familiar

“When you know, you know. “

Or that’s what they say.

This idiom is spoken when someone meets a new love and feels sparkly, when the new lovers connect, entwine, can’t get enough of each other, and barely come up for air. Dates go from a few hours to multiple days without blinking or thinking twice. It’s like you’ve just met and have known each other forever. The comfort feels special and unique. You’re lovers and family all-in-one. You somehow share similar outlooks and your vibes mesh extraordinarily well. 

This is so rare. It almost never happens. 

So what happens if or when it does? What should you do?

Are you supposed to slow down and ask more getting to know you questions to assess if the person is truly good for you? Do you test them to see if they pass? Do you go deeper and faster? Do you start introducing them to everyone to get more eyes on the situation? Do you keep it a secret because you don’t want to jinx a great thing (and every other time you’ve introduced someone, it hasn’t worked out)?

Does this new person have to be a lover? Can it be a friend? What if you’re typically Type-A and this flies in the face of what others know or expect of you? Or, what if you’re so relaxed that meeting this new person has made you giddy and excitable? How do you reconcile this new thing with your sordid last relationship? And worse, what if you didn’t mean to meet anyone because you’re going through a divorce but you each popped up dancing? Now what?

What if other people are inadvertently involved like your kids or you have a very tight schedule with multiple jobs and you live in two different places? There are so many variables that could keep you apart, but somehow the stars align and you both find yourself in the same place at the same time. In that brief moment, everything else moves to the background and it’s just you in the foreground. There’s nothing better. 

This is life’s perfection. 

My suggestion: hold loosely and keep dancing. Allow yourself to live in this strange design! Honestly, someone may get cold feet and the choreography might become clunky. But, don’t let that stop you. A special connection is the sweetness of love and life. Dancing and laughing cure everything. Keep moving! 

Here’s my advice: Don’t allow yourself to get too bogged down with what is going to happen next. Right now is where it is. It’s where you are. And always, right now turns into the next moments. And the moment ends but you’re still okay. You’re in a new iteration of love and it’s even more glorious. It’s thicker and you know you’re lucky, you know it will continue. You love yourself. You see yourself smile and laugh in ways that have been hidden for years. 

A side note to myself and to you: try not to give too much air time to life’s follies. It won’t help to worry, feel badly about ourselves, or think “this always happens and it’s not reciprocated.” We get these sparkling moments to show us something we need. And we need to give and receive love. Even if it’s temporary. The length of the song isn’t as important as dancing to it for the sake of the music and movement.

You will become a better person from this dance. After all, this challenge is barely anything. You’ve lived through worse. This isn’t even a setback. It’s a record skip on your new vinyl album. You move the needle and you’re in an even better spot than what you could have imagined. You keep dancing. Together.

I’m a Coach. Please contact me to talk about all things love and fun, as well as your intentions for the New Year. Together, we will help you achieve your wildest dreams! Contact me here.

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