Feeling Stuck? Do the Next Thing

We’ve all been there: fatigued, rundown, exhausted and frustrated with the journey. Maybe you’ve felt pulled in different directions at a crossroad, perhaps you have missed someone deeply and have considered reaching out, or likely you’ve wanted something just inches out of reach.

What do you do when your mind spins out, when you keep ruminating on the same topic without any clarity? How do you let go when you’re not really sure what you’re holding onto? What if everything you’re grasping is slipping through your slippery fingers while you try to tighten your grip. Sometimes that thing is so abstract, a concept that you’re not quite able to articulate but you know and feel it soulfully. Other times, the problematic thing relates to your job, your relationship, an ex, a current crush, family dynamics, or your self image. The constant nagging wears you down to the point where you may even feel exasperated with your own process.

So what’s the best way to move forward? Can you move forward when you’re in this loopy pattern?

Far too often we try to find workarounds to get the job done. We look for the easier way out, but end up shortchanging ourselves and having to backtrack to find the trail of bread crumbs along the woodsy path.

I’ve been in the place where I attempted taking a shortcut. The results were atrocious: It was during a breakup and I thought I could sneak around myself and ignore the sadness. Instead, my feelings got jumbled and I wasn’t able to makes sense of the circumstances: grief and loss from the previous relationship mixed with confusion about the rebound person I was dating. Over a year later, I see that if I would have simply allowed myself to grieve, the process would have been smoother. At the time, I didn’t know what to do and ended up spinning my wheels.

I learned a valuable lesson that helped me: While resisting the process of moving through a problem, I’ve noticed that growth takes longer. I’m no different than you – when we avoid acknowledging our true feelings or resist the process, the grip on our emotions becomes significantly stronger. This is when we have to move through the challenge.

The grip on our emotions become stronger when we resist the healing process.


What if you don’t know which way is through? My advice: Do the next thing.

You may be sad, you may feel confused. Stay on track and do the next thing. Maybe the next thing is to get up and make your bed. Maybe you need to do laundry. Maybe the next thing is to take a run. Whatever it is, do it. Small tasks often give us a sense of accomplishment and can be checked off the list. Doing all of these next things frees us up to have clarity of mind. We are not bogged down with annoying tasks anymore and can then concentrate on our real needs. Moving through challenges with grace and ease can be achieved when we give ourselves space to feel and accept them.

Ideas inspired by Elisabeth Elliot’s work – Click here to check it out.

Please visit Coaching By Nina Rubin for more information.


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