Guest Post: I STILL Don’t Have my Shit Together

Guest Blogger: Sarah Fader

As a 30-something year old woman, I have achieved a great deal of professional success, but I still don’t have my shit together.

I have been on the front page of The Washington Post and I have been interviewed in The New York Times. Still, I do not have my shit together.

I founded a non-profit organization for people living with mental illness. Still, I do not have my shit together.

I went from being a blogger to a professional writer in seven years. Still, I do not have my shit together.

I have won multiple awards for my writing and been recognized by large communities of prestigious people. Still, I do not have my shit together.

I am raising two children in the one of the most expensive cities in the entire country.

And yet still, I do not have my shit together.unnamed

I graduated from New York University with a 3.4 GPA. I am a smart and attractive woman. But still, I do not have my shit together.

What does it mean to have one’s shit together? I’m not sure, but every day I feel like I do not have it together. I can’t find my keys, I’m consistently broke, I barely make it through the day without having a self-loathing thought, I am a needy, anxious individual. I compulsively text my friends and sometimes my texts are inappropriate. I lose things, my house is a mess, and I’m a mess most of the time.

I do not have my shit together.


What if I told you that nobody really has their shit together?

Well it’s true.

For every flaw I just listed, there are things that I am good at. I’m a loyal friend, I’m a great mom, I’m a supportive romantic partner and I am a passionate, tenacious person and I use that for the good of the world.

I am an empath. And I like to help people in whatever way that I can. I don’t give up ever even if it feels like things are not working out, I know they will work out in the way that they’re supposed to.

Still, I don’t have my shit together.

And you know what? I don’t think I ever fucking will. But it doesn’t matter. Because I know that having your shit together is overrated. Having your shit together is a myth.

If you think you don’t have your shit together you’re right. But you’re still a wonderful person. I am sitting next to you at the lunch table and I don’t have my shit together either.


IMG_2014Sarah Fader is the CEO and Founder of Stigma Fighters, a non-profit organization that encourages individuals with mental illness to share their personal stories. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Quartz, Psychology Today, The Huffington Post, HuffPost Live, and Good Day New York.

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